this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
