oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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