apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
