ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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