C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
