"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
sarcasm needs its own font
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
