Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
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it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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