Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
