alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
