I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
what is it with giant penises always finding me
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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