dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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