ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
home. puking in laundry basket.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
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Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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