I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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