i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
At least make sure they are 18
Why
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
