Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
