Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
