I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
