I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
