it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
