when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Barsexuality is the new black.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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