Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
