I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
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