and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
