You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
