Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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