There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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