This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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