Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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