sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
