so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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