I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize