You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
