im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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