he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
