Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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