A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize