oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
