I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
