like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
