how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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