My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
