worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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