Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
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it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
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Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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