Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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