I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
