I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize