what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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