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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...

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• (347): View more from New York

  Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????

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• (516): View more from New York

  Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.

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• (661): View more from California

  It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas

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• (408): View more from California

  look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.

  (1-408): View more from California

  eating on the run again ?

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat

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• (210): View more from Texas

  just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.

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• (845): View more from New York

  And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness

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