how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize