Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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