Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
