i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
