so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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