Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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