I just pynch a tree in the face
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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