READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
