Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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