I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
