I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
