You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
