Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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